Written by John Lennon | Music Video here
I just had to.... let it go-ooooooooOOOOOooooooooo.
Do not ask your children to strive by William Martin
Written by William Martin | poem from The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents
This little bit of poetry flitted past me recently and I knew I wanted to share it. Why? It somehow struck a nerve of deep contentment and little ping-pong pangs of guilt at the same time. The poem does paint a north star for me. Yes, despite writing a whole bookshelf all about awe. I guess I can be a bit, what's the word? Ambitious? Maybe? Just a tad? That's probably why this poem -- which is actually pulled from a wonderful book called The Parent’s Tao Te Ching by William Martin -- felt like cream on a rash.
I hope it strikes a chord with some of you, too.
Poem:
Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.
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Two powerful songs about fatherhood by Harry Chapin and John Lennon
Cat’s Cradle by Sandy Chapin & Harry Chapin | Source here
Watching the Wheels by John Lennon | Source here
Context:
I wanted to share two songs -- two poems -- about fatherhood.
After I wrote this journal entry last week I couldn't get the lyrics to “Cat's Cradle” by Harry Chapin out of my head. I realized I probably had the lyrics in my head since 1992 when Ugly Kid Joe covered the famous 1964 Harry Chapin single and introduced it to a new generation. For a suburban Toronto kid in the early 90s if a song was on the Top 6 at 6 with Tarzan Dan ... everybody knew it. A gripping poem peeling open father-son relationship tensions written, evidently, by Chapin's wife Sandy.
Years later I had kids and began listening to "Watching The Wheels" by John Lennon. It was the final single from John's 1980 "Double Fantasy" album and released a few months after his assassination. It's sort of a "mirror song" to Cat's Cradle because this poem talks about the cultural hits a man takes from others -- "People say I'm crazy ..." -- when he chooses to pause his career to take care of his children. At the time John living in New York with Yoko raising their son Sean and the video opens with John carrying Sean in a carrier through Central Park ... just steps from where he was shot.
I feel like these two songs -- two poems -- twist into something demonstrating the power of communicating such vast and complex emotions in such few words. And, as a father, I feel I always take something away from them both.
Song Lyrics:
CATS CRADLE
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
"But we'll get together then"
"You know we'll have a good time then"
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play"
"Can you teach me to throw?", I said-a, "Not today"
"I got a lot to do" He said, "That's okay dad"
And he, he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
"But we'll get together then"
"You know we'll have a good time then"
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and then he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
"But we'll get together then, dad"
"You know we'll have a good time then"
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I can find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when"
"But we'll get together then, dad"
"You know we'll have a good time then"
(Written by: Harry F. Chapin / Sandy Chapin, © Warner Chappell Music, Inc)
WATCHING THE WHEELS
People say I'm crazy
Doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings
To save me from ruin
When I say that I'm okay, well they look at me kinda strange
"Surely you're not happy now, you no longer play the game"
People say I'm lazy
Dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice
Designed to enlighten me
When I tell that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
"Don't you miss the big time, boy, you're no longer on the ball?"
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
Ah, people asking questions
Lost in confusion
Well, I tell them there's no problem
Only solutions
Well, they shake their heads and they look at me, as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry, I'm just sitting here doing time
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
(Written by: John Lennon, © Downtown Music Publishing)