March break up in Canada this week. Schools closed, snow falling, kids bouncing off the walls. I've taken this week off work for nine years straight now -- and despite one kid asking me to "pick up meeeee!" as I write this and another trying to show me a picture of a man with a crowbar through his chest that he found in a world records book, well, I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is hitting your inboxes in a few minutes at 7:30am EST and so far today I've had a great three hours of pee-filled pyjamas, a workout with thirty-pound kids rolling off my back, doing watercolors, and slow-mo-making five different breakfasts.
For me, raising kids is simultaneously exhausting and exquisite. Emotions shaken into the pot from every bottle in the cupboard.
One tiny place I find myself drawing inspiration from as a dad is Watching the Wheels by John Lennon. The song is John answering critics asking why he left music in 1975 to lean into life with Yoko and raise their son Sean for five years -- up until his still-so-horrible-to-think-about assassination in 1980. For me, the song represents a rare jewel in the Lennon Canon -- the only song I can think of where he talks about 'househusbanding' (as he called it) and some of the simple, deeper pleasures of leaning into fatherhood and raising kids. "I sort of half-consciously wanted to spend the first five years of Sean's life actually giving him all the time I possibly could," he said. "I look after the baby and I made bread and I was a househusband and I am proud of it."
I love the song's message of leaning into a slower and more intentional way of living. But our capitalism and algorithm-fueled fame machine asks louder than ever: "Surely you're not happy now? -- you no longer play the ga-aaaaaaaame."
Maybe I aspire to that myself. Or maybe I have it and need to remind myself to prioritize this when I'm asked why I like being, you know, just me. Why I don't hire ten people and really make a go of this thing! Hire more social media managers, ghostwriters, research assistants, people to follow me around with cameras, and, you know -- pump it up! amplify! grow the platform! take the message to the worrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllld!
Well ... because I love watching the wheels go by. That's why. I love being with my wife and my kids. I don't want to be working so hard telling people not to miss this that I end up missing it myself. Here I am stealing fifteen minutes of my morning to write this and even now ... I feel like I'm missing it.
Enjoy your day, squeeze your loved ones, and, when it comes to pulling away from the machine a little to enjoy watching the wheels, well, don't feel bad. Enjoy it. As John sings: "I just had to.... let it go-ooooooooOOOOOooooooooo."
Now just try watching the music video without crying.
Thank you so much for being part of this community.
Have a great week everybody and love you lots,
Neil
Lyrics:
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm okay, well, they look at me kind of strange
"Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game?"
People say I'm lazy ... dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
"Don't you miss the big time boy? You're no longer on the ball...."
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-ro-ounnnnnd
I just had to let it go
People asking questions ... lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem... only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry... I'm just sitting here doing time
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to.... let it go-ooooooooOOOOOooooooooo.