I thought I’d celebrate my 43rd birthday by writing down 43 things I’ve (almost) learned. Lists like these are preachy by nature so, you know, just take what you like and leave the rest.
Here we go:
1. Life is too short for unsalted butter.
2. When arguing: Start sentences with ‘I’ not ‘You’.
3. Text friends, email coworkers.
4. Best gratitude game at dinner: Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud.
5. Never start a speech by apologizing.
6. Clothing stores offer 2 of 3 of fashion, price, and quality. H&M? Fashion and price. Old Navy? Price and quality. Prada? Fashion and quality. Know what you’re buying, don’t expect what you’re not.
7. Five people who love you are worth a lot more than five million who like you.
8. Nothing is as expensive as a cheap pair of shoes.
9. You do make friends with salad. Master a great one.
10. Low opinion of others, low opinion of self? Cynical. High opinion of others, low opinion of self? Insecure. Low opinion of others, high opinion of self? Arrogant. High opinion of others, high opinion of self? Confidence. Aim for confidence.
11. To a large extent: If you can be happy with simple things it will be simple to be happy.
12. The three best home improvements are fresh paint, fresh flowers, and fresh air.
13. Never retire. Look for the 4 S’s instead: Social (friends), Structure (schedule), Stimulation (learning), and Story (purpose).
14. To be the favored client: Pay the bill as soon as you see it.
15. You’re the best judge of how good it is. You’re the worst judge of how well it will do.
16. Remember the 3 G’s in sex: Good, Giving, and Game.
17. Loosen the pickle jar lid but give it to a kid to pop.
18. To remember 2-digit numbers: Memorize 9 images and combine them. I use candle for 1, bicycle for 2, tripod for 3, table for 4, home plate for 5, soccer ball for 6, swan for 7, stop sign for 8, cat for 9, donut for 0. Friend’s birthday is 27th? Picture a swan on a bicycle. Movie comes out on the 16th? Picture a candle on soccer ball.
19. The best way to avoid a fight is to have a snack.
20. Before work trips: Hide a note under everyone’s pillow.
21. You always regret not doing more than you regret doing. Lean in.
22. Schedule one Untouchable Day each week.
23. The 7 for 7 Rule: 7 minutes of stretching for 7 hours better sleep.
24. If you have signed a contract with your work you need a signed contract with your family, too.
25. For perspective: Leave ten stones on your dresser, one for each decade of your life. Move one forward every ten years. Daily problems feel smaller with a zoom out.
26. It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting. If in doubt? Start.
27. People remember who stayed till the end of the wedding. Stay till the end of the wedding.
28. Always cut grilled cheese into triangles.
29. For better skin: Bathe less.
30. Keep a lacrosse ball in your suitcase. Nothing improves a bad hotel room like a wall massage before bed.
31. You are not allowed to leave a bookstore without buying a book.
32. Practice 2 minute mornings: Before starting your day write and fill out: “I will let go of…”, “I am grateful for…”, “I will focus on…”
33. For better focus, attention, and privacy: Don’t take your phone.
34. 10 second mood lift: Hold the sides of your ribs and take a slow deep breath to inflate them outwards without raising your shoulders.
35. Put a gift note to yourself in the online order.
36. Woo the subconscious: Keep blank cue cards and a pen on your bedside table.
37. 3 best words for friends in tough times: “Tell me more…”
38. The only two ways to reply to any invite: No or Hell Yeah.
39. Swear words are the sharp knives in word kitchen. Teach kids how to use safely – not avoid.
40. Easiest way to love a park: Pick up one piece of trash every visit.
41. Leave the backup toilet paper where your guests can find it.
42. For assorted poisons you enjoy: Make it a treat.
43. Remember: If you have what you need it doesn’t matter what anyone else has.
I’m pretty sure I stole all of these but a few specific credits: Ryan Holiday (3), Mario Pilozzi (6), Kevin Kelly (7), Dan Savage (16), Derek Sivers (38), Sarah Silverman (42), and my dad (43).