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Hey everybody,
Happy January and welcome to the best reading year of your life! Turn off the news and delete social media because it’s time to crack into a good book.
Before the recos! Quick reminder: I have three email lists including this monthly book club, my bi-weekly article on intentional living, and my two-line “postcards” whenever I drop a new chapter of 3 Books. Visit this link to make sure you’re on all the lists you want. All are 100% ad free, spam free, commercial free, and I never share your email with anyone.
Thanks for reading and onto the picks…
Neil
1. Dibs in Search of Selfby Virginia M. Axline. I stayed up late, night after night, reading this completely absorbing non-fiction recount of an emotionally lost little boy named Dibs as he’s slowly coached back from the brink by gifted therapist Virginia M. Axline. Have you ever had a therapy appointment and wondered what they were writing about you afterwards? Me too! Well, this book feels exactly like you’re reading a therapist’s personal notes. The book opens with Dibs about to be shipped off to a mental institution by his exasperated parents and teachers. Why? Because he never talks, hides under desks at school all day, seems totally non-responsive, and screams and scratches anyone who comes near him. The book was published in 1964 and the cover screams “The Child Therapy Classic!” There are wonderfully insightful gems here for anybody looking to become a better parent, coach, or leader. (Nicely pairs with a lot of lessons from The Coaching Habit, actually!) I learned a lot of language and communication techniques to help children search and find their true self. A brilliant book I can’t recommend enough!
2. The Story of Ferdinandby Munro Leaf. At the very back of Quietby Susan Cain there is a little two-page extra called “Recommended Reading: Introverts in Literature” and the very first book recommended … is this one. A wonderful 30-page pen-and-ink drawn children’s book from 1936 (1936!) about a bull named Ferdinand who prefers sitting alone and smelling the flowers while all the other bulls like to fight. Good news? His mother understands him! The matadors are sad but they get it and ship him back home! The story ends with him quietly sniffing flowers. Too bad all introverts aren’t so lucky. Perfect for the quieter child in your life…
3. Claudine at Schoolby Colette. Back in the late 1800s a young French woman named Colette was locked in her room and ordered to write books by her much older husband Willy. He took authorship of her books which became giant bestsellers in France. She eventually broke free of the marriage and continued to write nearly eighty (!?) published works up to 1954 when she died and was given a state funeral and mourned as a national treasure. Claudine at School (or Claudine A L’École) is her very first book and, according to the introduction, it invented the century’s first teenage girl: “rebellious, secretive, erotically reckless and disturbed, determined to be an individual in her own right, but confused about how….” This book is sometimes considered the first ever queer YA novel and is absolutely hypnotic. It’s assumed to be based on Colette’s own boarding school experiences in France in the 1880s and reads like a deeply personal diary. Deeply escapist. (PS. I haven’t seen it but there’s a recent film about Colette starring Keira Knightley. Check out the trailer.)
4. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connectingby Dr. Laura Markham. Do you yell at your kids? I do. And then I feel terrible afterwards. It’s embarrassing. What am I doing? How do I let my buttons get pushed by a three year old refusing to put on his shoes? Enter this book. Dr. Laura Markham’s work is deeply empathetic, connected, and loving and her simple advice will have you thinking “Yes, yes, yes, totally” but (of course) the hard part is doing it. I can confidently say this book has turned me into a better father by offering a simple three-step approach to be a more peaceful parent. Step 1. Regulating Yourself, Step 2. Fostering Connection, and Step 3. Coaching not Controlling. She says that discipline never (never!) works and offers many solutions using games and connection to coach behavior instead. I just got back from interviewing Dr. Laura Markham in Brooklyn and am eager to share our chat in the very next chapter of 3 Books. (PS. If you’re intrigued by Dr. Laura Markham’s work but don’t want to jump into a book, then start with her fantastic newsletter. Link at bottom left of the page.)
5. Books for Living: Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting, and Embracing Lifeby Will Schwalbe. Did you ever have a librarian sit on a rocking chair in the corner of the library share a stack of books with your entire second grade class sitting on an old green carpet? And the librarian had like big excited eyes behind thick glasses? And all the books had like crinkly plastic coverings and Dewey Decimal stickers on the spines? And then everyone got all excited to read them all and people literally ran to sign out James And The Giant Peachor whatever afterwards? I feel like I have the memory of that happening to me but maybe I just saw it in the movies. Why do I mention it? Because this book feels like that exact scene. Starring Will Schwalbe as The Librarian. Will has lead a rich and diverse life and he loves books, reads a ton, and takes you, the eager second grader, on a welcoming and warmhearted journey through a series of great books to help you with the lofty goal of living. From Stuart Little to Wonderto The Little Princeto dozens of others it’s a beautiful way to cattle-prod your reading or help open your eyes to books far outside your field of vision. I loved it.
6.How YouTube Gives Us Love Without The Messiness by Michael Harris. Did you see Her by Spike Jonze and starring Joaquin Phoenix? That was one of my Seatglue Movies. What’s a Seatglue Movie? Any movie that has you glued to your seat in theaters until the end credits have completely rolled and the guy cleaning up the garbage asks your to leave and (even then) you have a hard time getting up because you are so emotionally stunned by what you’ve just seen. You are glued to your seat. You cannot move. What’s your Seatglue movie? It’s fun to talk about. Anyway, longtime readers of this newsletter will remember how obsessed I was with Solitudeby Michael Harris a couple years ago. I loved it and hung out with Michael in Vancouver to interview him for 3 Books! I love his writing and his lens exploring how we live. What does that have to do with Her? Well, Michael’s brand new article in The Walrus takes a closer look at where “dating a computer” is today. Turns out we are closer to the world of Her than I thought!
7. 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differentlyby Marc & Angel Chernoff. One of the best parts of my book tour for You Are Awesomewas reconnecting with old friends. Way, way back in the early days of 1000 Awesome Things I developed a friendship with Marc and Angel who were putting out great self-help content on their blog “Marc and Angel Hack Life.” That was over a decade ago! Well, they are still at it and have grown their community by leaps and bounds. They sent me a copy of their latest book and I think it’s perfect for our Enlightened Bathroom Reading series. A deeply accessible 300-page pack of listicles like 10 Habits You Must Quit To Be Happy, 12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget, and (my favorite) 12 Things My Grandmother Told Me Before She Died.
8. Inherit The Windby Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee. Almost a hundred years ago, way back in 1925, a schoolteacher in Dayton, Tennessee was put on trial for teaching evolution. The trial was covered around the country and considered one of the biggest legal wars of the century. Thirty years later in 1955 this play was written which is fictionalized but does use some actual quotes from the 1925 courtroom transcript. The play last ran in New York just over a decade ago starring Christopher Plummer and the script reads incredible fresh today. A wonderful quick read.
9. The Pearlby John Steinbeck. Do you ever fantasize about winning the lottery? I wrote about it a while back and wondered if I’d choose the tall, snooty butler with a pencil moustache or the short, bumbling one with a heart of gold. I wondered whether I’d get a pool or a tennis court or maybe skip both for a helipad so my new rich friends would have a place to park when they came over for polo. Well, this tightly written dystopian parable by John Steinbeck crashes those illusions down hard. When poor Kino and his wife find a giant pearl they dream of a new life for themselves. I won’t ruin what happens next but let’s just say no butlers are involved. Thin, tight, terse, and tense, if you liked The Road by Cormac McCarthy you’ll love this book.
